Opinion : Future mayor of Philadelphia

Well the democratic primary in Philly has come and gone, and the least ambitious black guy (in this case, Michael Nutter, who i would only have voted for if he named one of his kids Fluffer) has won again. Something tells me that this will not change the city all that much. I think that the candidate that this city really needs is already in the mix. The person who really should be the next mayor of Philly is Mayor Street's crazy felon brother: Milton Street.

Now you might ask, why would a rational conservative want a mentally ill, corrupt felon from jersey running the city? Because in my opinion, Philadelphia's problems have gotten well past the point where sound rational planning are going to do much. At this point even when the city does act in its own interest, it gets slapped down by the state (on school budgets, gun sales, and zoning casinos, in just the last year). Crime and unemployment are skyrocketing, public transit ,the schools, and local hospitals are all going bust, real estate outside of CC is dying, and the police seem rather useless. A mayor who is going to open a few more rec centers, have the police frisk black people, and smile with children is not what this city needs. A mayor who is going to shout down critics, lie about actual tax revenue, and embezzle money from neighboring states is exactly what this city needs. Judging from his display at city hall a few months ago (Fark.com didn't do it justice) I bet Milton isn't afraid to stand up to Ed Rendell over self governance(the dems don't support him now anyways, he has nothing to lose). And I am sure that someone who claims $200K in income selling hot dogs would not be put off when the school district loses $70 mil in its budget (just move the decimal point over a few times, we will shake down Bill Gates foundation for the difference later). Also as an added bonus, he wont be able to seriously offend anyone, because noone takes him seriously. Further more, taking his fellow criminals over to Jersey when the police start to close in is about the best crime fighting plan for Philly that I have heard yet.

At any rate, if a logical rational solution to the local troubles were to be found, It would have been found already. Clearly that approach is failing, what we need is a change. Philly needs to embrace its urban character and elect a corrupt, mentally ill, insider as our next mayor. Milton Street in '07