Opinion : A new Iraq plan

To be honest, I haven't even researched Bush's new plan, but I am sure that it contains nothing new or exciting (yet somehow it is very controversial). Well with our leaders abstaining from any creative thinking on the subject, I have taken it upon my self to propose a solution. My solution should be quick, cheap, and effective and not cost any American lives.

Step 1: Build giant Mercenary army

This would actually be very simple. We take a few ships down to sub-Saharan Africa, where the avg person lives on $2 a day, and offer everyone $20 a day to join the new force. Most people in these regions are already accustomed to war and violence, and are likely skilled in firearm use and guerrilla tactics, so they will make perfect troops to fight Arab insurgents. As a side effect, the removal of aggressive young troops from Africa may help to quell the regional unrest there, and the infusion of American capital should help with the extreme poverty thing. About a million or so should do.

Step 2: Deploy Mercenary army

Once armed and trained (basically given guns and shown pictures of Iraqi people), Turn this new army loose in Baghdad. This should be accompanied to moving American troops to outlying areas, where their sudden surge in numbers will allow them to track down the foreign terrorists and more importantly, to secure the oil fields. While it is hoped that the Iraqi army could organize the mercenaries into a useful and efficient security force, this is neither probable nor necessary. More likely chaos will ensue (as it has for the last 3 years anyway) and the shear number of new foreign targets should reduce civilian casualties (or at least distract the UN and aid agencies from counting them). As an added bonus, the infectious disease burden unleashed by the Africans should wipe out most of the Arab population anyways, making any future missions much easier, and containing the local anti-American feelings that this plan will likely cause.


Step 3: Profit

This war has been expensive, and it is only fair that we recoup our investments. While the African mercenaries are taking care of Baghdad, Large numbers of newly freed up American troops should proceed to take control of Iraq's oil fields and infrastructure. Once secured, we should pump as much oil as we can and sell it directly to western companies (and China if we need to bribe them to go along with this) at fixed rates. This should generate lots of revenue for the government, lower gas prices, reward our allies and undercut OPEC. If any OPEC members don't appreciate this plan (Iran, Venezuela, etc), there are plenty more potential mercenaries where those came from...